im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
