So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
