Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
