please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
