You're completely useless in the revolution.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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