It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
