but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Randomize
