he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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