My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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