he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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