She announced her abortion via fbk
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
