He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
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