I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
I deserve this hangover.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize