There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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