good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
