I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize