he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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