I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
