Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
