i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
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hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
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i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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