I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Randomize
