I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
