well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
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