I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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