Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
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