VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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