awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
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On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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