I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
