im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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