the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
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This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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