There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
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Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
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I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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