Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
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