just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
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