hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
