O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
only you would photoshop your dick
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
