I CAN MOONWALK!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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