she peed on how many people?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
