You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
