As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
