I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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