What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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