Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
