So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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