sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
