Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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