I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
