I'd wear matching sweaters with you
hell yes lets make some ravioli
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Randomize
