Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
