I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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