i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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