Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
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