I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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