Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
