I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
