so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
