nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
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