in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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