Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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