mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
